Is marriage catechumenate also necessary for community weddings and legitimations?

Before answering, it is necessary to clarify the precise definitions of the terms we are using.

Community weddings (or collective weddings) are those in which several couples marry in a single celebration. Most of those who marry in this way are couples with financial difficulties, but they may also be couples who, over the years, have grown complacent and simply needed a little encouragement from someone willing to assist with the preparations. In such cases, the diocese, parish, or groups (such as the Family Ministry) facilitate the celebration of Marriage by taking responsibility for the canonical process and the entire structure — church decoration, music ministry, etc. The costs for the couples are minimal or even nonexistent. In some cases and with proof of financial hardship, even the civil expenses (such as registry office fees) may be waived.

Community weddings address a problem in our society which associates the celebration of Marriage with money. In reality, one does not need money to get married. Besides community weddings, Matrimony can also be contracted in the presence of the minister (priest, deacon, or even an authorized layperson, known as a qualified witness) and two other witnesses. It may also take place during a regular parish Mass with the community, even on a weekday.

I am not diminishing the value of the moment. I know that entering into Marriage is a great celebration, as it is a “yes” to one’s vocation — a “yes” that transforms one’s entire life. It is something grand and, whenever possible, should be celebrated with a festive gathering and many guests. But that is not a condition for getting married. One should not indefinitely postpone marriage while waiting for the financial means to fulfill a ‘dream’.

From this perspective, I believe that organizing a community wedding is a great work of charity. It is truly a noble apostolate to help couples unite in the Sacrament of Matrimony and offer them the opportunity to return to a state of grace.

Now let us consider another term widely used in some dioceses: legitimation of marriage. It is often used to refer to the marriage of couples who have been cohabiting — living together — for many years, whether or not they have had a civil marriage. These couples may choose either a private wedding or a community wedding. However, the use of this term raises some concerns for me, as it can lead to two mistaken conclusions.

The first is that the very fact of having lived together for years would attest that the couple is ready to formalize their union in Marriage — that is, to “legitimize” it. The second is that, if they are already presumed to be ready, it would be enough to simply schedule the wedding and dispense with any form of preparation. Both of these conclusions are reckless, as they generalize the situation and disregard the true purpose of preparation, which is discernment regarding the vocation.

Is a couple ready to enter into Marriage simply because they have cohabited for years? What were those years like? Do they know what Matrimony is? Do they understand what it means to become one flesh? Do they grasp what a sacrament is? Do they know the promises they are about to make and are they determined to live them out? These and many other questions can be — and should — asked.

That is why I find it troubling to speak of legitimation of marriage just as I do of simplifying the marriage catechumenate for couples participating in community weddings. There should be no distinction, for there is only one Matrimony: the promises are the same, and the required knowledge is equally essential.

When I think about the marriage of couples who have been cohabiting for many years, the path should involve a particular process of accompaniment and promotion of discernment. As I discussed in the previous article, the marriage catechumenate is necessary for all “candidates for Marriage”.

This is how the Church seeks to ensure that the “yes” pronounced at the altar is made with full awareness — much more as a vocational commitment than merely the regularization of a situation. Through a well-structured preparation for Marriage, couples can acquire new knowledge, reexamine concepts and practices in their lives.

This is where the experience of accompanying couples — the catechists — becomes essential, helping to identify the most appropriate strategies for working with mature couples. Certain topics may be addressed more briefly or proposed as reading and discussion tasks for the couple to reflect on together before speaking with the catechist. It is a handcrafted effort shaped by the reality of each couple.

However, it is not a benefit for the candidates for Marriage to create abbreviated programs, reduce the content to a series of lectures, or eliminate certain this or that topic from the set of basic topics that the Church recommends.

This would mean depriving them of what they need in order to enter marriage with full awareness — or even of the opportunity to renounce it if they judge that its demands are too great. And this too is a fruit of the catechesis.

I view favorably all the efforts of parish teams who seek out and invite cohabiting couples to consider the possibility of getting married. This is necessary! But it must be an invitation to knowledge and reflection — calmly and over time, over the course of a few months. Parish teams, acting proactively and in harmony with all other ministries, can identify cohabiting couples and invite them to the marriage catechumenate, to take part in a few sessions of formation and discernment. For these couples, the decision to marry will be a possible fruit of a discernment process. What should be avoided is offering them a guaranteed wedding date in advance, with couples simply signing up and then going through (when they do!) a few lectures.

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