I understand that this question refers to the Proximate Stage, which is still commonly known as “Engaged Couples’ Meetings” or “Premarital Courses” (even though the Church has been advising for decades that it should not be called a course, nor be directed exclusively to engaged couples). Therefore, my response will be based on this stage.
I cannot deny that there is a certain confusion about this subject. To avoid falling into the realm of personal opinions, we must seek answers in the Magisterium of the Church. The recent document Catechumenal Pathways for Married Life (CPML) defines that this stage must include moments of integration of the couple into ecclesial life and the life of prayer, as well as consistent doctrinal formation. As a personal and didactic way to present these ideas, I have often said that there are two key dimensions: the experiential and the formative.
These are not two separate moments, but rather dimensions that take place simultaneously. The experiential dimension is the proposal for a rediscovery (or, for many, a first discovery) and lived experience of the Catholic faith. A novelty of this document is its emphasis on ensuring that the marriage catechumenate, which many couples undergo merely as an obligation, should become an awakening to the life of prayer and deeper a sense of ecclesial belonging. Couples are to be “gradually introduced to Christian prayer — individual, communal, and as a couple” (CPML, 49).
This means taking advantage of this stage to create opportunities that draw couples closer to the Church.
“Couples shall be helped to approach the life of the Church and take part in it. They may be gently and warmly invited to participate in moments of prayer, such as the Sunday Eucharist, Confession, and retreats, as well as moments of celebration and community.” (CPML, 50).
I believe this is why the Church recommends that the marriage catechumenate last about a year: because a period of close and sustained interaction with the couples is necessary. True accompaniment, friendship, and the building of trusted guidance cannot be achieved through a few condensed sessions.
These meetings may be spread out over several months, in the number necessary to ensure at least the minimum content proposed by the Church. In fact, ecclesial documents are clear in stating that there is content that must be transmitted.
I could cite various documents on the subject, but I will mention two as examples. I begin with the document Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage, published in 1996 by the Pontifical Council for the Family. In paragraph 48, within the section dedicated to Proximate Preparation, it states: “Without neglecting the various aspects of psychology, medicine and other human sciences, the content should be centred on the natural and Christian doctrine of marriage.”
Likewise, the document Catechumenal Pathways for Married Life, the most recent and up-to-date document on the subject, outlines what must be addressed with the couples:
- Revisit the Sacraments of Christian initiation (Baptism, Confirmation, and the Eucharist) and the Sacrament of Reconciliation (cf. CPML, 49);
- The primary reference point for the couple should be Sacred Scripture, especially Genesis, the Prophets, and the Song of Songs (cf. CPML, 49);
- Preparation for the specific mission of the spouses (cf. CPML, 49);
- “Everything related to the relationship of couples and the interpersonal dynamics it entails” (CPML, 52);
- Reflection on the essential aspects and goods of marriage (cf. CPML, 51);
- “The human dynamics of conjugal sexuality, the proper understanding of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, and the raising of children” (CPML, 52).
Regarding this last point, there is often a tendency to downplay its importance or to postpone addressing it to a later stage, during the accompaniment of couples. To overcome such a mentality, the Dicastery uses terms that leave no room for doubt:
“There are many other aspects related to the human reality of the person and the couple which need to be properly explored: the human dynamics of conjugal sexuality, the proper understanding of responsible paternity and maternity, and the raising of children.” (CPML, 53)
Note the verb used: it is not a suggestion, but a need. Furthermore, to prevent any possible relativization regarding responsible fatherhood and motherhood, the adjective “proper” is employed. Therefore, the marriage catechumenate must address these topics attentively, so as not to foster erroneous ideas about matters of such importance.
